Weirdest Stuff on Etsy: Elephant Thongs, Alien Babies and ... Organ Plushies!
Obviously I am not a stranger to making strange things. I mean, I make organ plushies for a living. So I really shouldn't talk... BUT just for fun, I present to you some of my personal faves of the weirdest stuff you can get on Etsy (R.I.P. to Regretsy and Witchsy):
The Original Picolas Cage Fridge Magnet. Nic Cage's face. On a pimply plastic pickle. On your fridge. You can see this fine veggie item is in 30+ carts, so clearly this magnet is filling a hole in the hearts of Cage-lovers everywhere. Don't settle for copies when you can get the REAL DEAL! This one is the ORIGINAL Nic Cage Fridge Pickle.
Yes, it's a handmade red satin elephant thong, complete with googly eyes. I've had my eyeballs on this phallic pachyderm for a long time now, Not sure how to convince my husband to wear it... I also don't know how well it performs in the wash, but at least it aligns with Etsy's self-proclaimed mission as a home for the handmade (more that later.)
No tooth fairies were robbed for this special Etsy listing. Real human teeth. Lucky for us, they are ethically sourced (just like our plush organs, which are handmade in an ethically-certified factory). If these teeth gross you out, check out our plush tooth on Etsy. What do people do with real human teeth? Make crafts? Create creepy dental office backsplashes? I'm scared to Google it.
And of course if it's a curse you seek, look no farther than an entire collection of witchy curses, including the Destroy His Manhood revenge spell. Buy it and try it for $94.40, but results are not guaranteed and, unlike us, they don't accept returns. But if this curse DOES work, you can replace your destroyed peen with our penis plushie on Etsy. Or you can just buy a Manhood Restored curse.
Are you in the market for an alien baby for just $1555.53? You're in luck, because you can have just that. No adoption papers required, and has free shipping to boot! Cuddle this intergalactic being to your bosom and feel your endorphins flow through its tiny rubberized body.
Here are some other organs on Etsy...yummy organ meats "handmade" into super sus supplements. Enjoy the magic of putting your health into your own hands! FDA-approved? Perhaps not, but really, who needs that? If you prefer cuddling a liver to one, we can hook you up with a plushy liver organ on Etsy. It's not as tasty as the pills, tho.
This squishy all-seeing brain is giving you major side eye. It's just the right amount of creepy to force you to finish whatever task it is you're supposed to do. If this is not your type of brain, our stuffed brain plush on Etsy might be just the neural noodle you need.
Perhaps you're thinking (while also pondering the meaning of life and other deep questions), "I thought you already HAD plush organs on Etsy?" Isn't that where plush organs began? Well, since you didn't ask, let me explain...
As you may know, my name is Wendy and many moons ago I drew some cute organs... These organs characters got their humble start in the craft and maker scene of Los Angeles.
I started these organ characters as drawings, buttons, stickers, tees and handmade organ plushies. Back in the day, you would have found me and my organ-themed merch at a table in a hall crowded with artsy types and their amazing handmade wares and the people who love to buy weird stuff.
Etsy seemed like a natural next step for me and my ever-growing band of artist-made merry organs, HOWEVER, in The Olden Days, Etsy only allowed merchandise handmade by the artist, and since our toys are handmade and imported, I could not sell my plush organs on Etsy.
But now they don't give a rat's tushie what's on there or how it's made anymore. So we are throwing our hearts, brains and plush uterus on Etsy after all these years. Timing is very RETRO VINTAGE!!! I do truly wish they had stuck to their original mission as a home for the handmade, so maybe if I put my plush organs on Etsy, it will usher in the Etsy End Times. I think that's a curse I can buy on Etsy...
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