Funny Prostate Cancer Care Package Ideas
What makes the best prostate cancer care package? Why, a prostate plush, of course! This fluffy cute prostate will bring a chuckle in tough times. Our prostate gift ideas may be just what your prostate pal needs – they may think it’s “weird” but what do they know? Our magical prostate plush will give your prostate cancer warrior a good time! And perhaps some comfort during that pesky prostate exam.
I used to say the prostate stuffed toy was the weirdest plush we made. But that was before we made a plush rectum. And a vagina/vulva plushie. And then, the plush penis neck pillow came in and snatched that Weirdest Plush Ever Crown away from them all. It's hard work staying weird, my friends.
What is a prostate anyway, and how does it work? The prostate makes fluid that feeds and protects sperm! Most of what goes into semen comes from the seminal vesicle glands, seen here atop the prostate. This walnut-sized exocrine gland sits just below the bladder. It’s a real right-hand gland!
Sperm are made in the testicles, then swim through the vas deferens to the prostate, where the seminal vesicles add their special semen sauce to protect sperm from the acidic world of the vagina. Or wherever they end up. Urine also passes through your prostate! Your bladder snakes its ureters through Prostatelandia on the way to the penis. This is why prostate disease is often detected following urination and ejaculation problems.
Can you live without a prostate? Yes you can! If cancer claims your prostate, your surgeon may recommend prostatectomy or partial prostatectomy. It may take as long as a year after prostate removal to regain sexual function, so discuss the details of life without your prostate with your doctor. And if you need a prostate cancer care package, we've got loads of prostate to stuff up in your lil' basket, bro.
What is a prostate exam like? Sharpen your pencils, friends, because at some point, your doctor will want to test your prostate! Prostate screening is important for prostate owners over the age of 55, according to the American Urologic Association. The “digital” part of the digital rectal exam does not mean it’s done by computer, my friends. They are talking digital as in “digits,” as in a finger. A finger up your butt!
Anyhoo, it’s an important and painless exam and your doctor or nurse will want it over quickly, too. You don't need to study and it's far easier than the MCAT. Digital Rectal Exam is also my new band name. Speaking of band names, my other band name is Robotic Prostatectomy, which is how they remove prostates these days. The DaVinci robot is a laparoscopic machine that helps surgically remove your pesky prostate.
What happens to your prostate after surgery? We are happy to report we spotted your prostate on Instagram and he is retired living his best life in Florida. Don't forget to send us snapshots of your prostate on vacation!
Sometimes our prostate ends on on the nightly news... Break the ice with your cancer care team with some smiling prostate lapel pins. It will be the last thing your oncology squad expects from caring for your lil’ gland. Always good to keep those doctors and nurses happy. After all, they have to put their fingers up your butt to keep your prostate healthy. It's the least you can do.
Don't believe our prostate plushie is the best gift? Read some prostate plush reviews from our wonderful customers: "We gave this as a gift to a friend so he still would have a prostate. He took it to the hospital with him when he has his removed and it was a big hit. It is soft and cozy and I think he even found it comforting." - Marlise M. from Amazon.
Is it a prostate or is it Pokemon? Another review of our prostate plush on Amazon says: "Bought as a gag gift for my father who is undergoing chemotherapy for prostate cancer. Now he can have a new prostate! It's one of the best gift you can get someone who is undergoing surgery or a disease." J. Waters via Amazon. Awww, our hearts and prostates are so warm from reading these beautiful reviews...If you need prostate cancer gifts with humor, you've come to the right place.
Here is our sacred oath to you: Cross our prostate and hope to die, we promise our magical and funny prostate gifts will give your prostate cancer warrior a good time! Shine a light on your prostate with some funny gifts for Movember, when we raise awareness for their gentlemanly parts by growing a plush 'stash in November!
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