Funny Ass Gifts for Colon Cancer
If you're like us, the month of March fills your head not with March Madness or leprechauns, but with colorectal health! Yes, that's right, we are talking about butt stuff! We’ve got fun colon gift ideas! Bring some colorectal cheer to your colon cancer warrior in the form of colon socks, colon stickers or supportive colon plush.
Let a colon keychain, colon lapel pin or funny colon gift bring joy to a colonoscopy near you. Yeah, colonoscopies are real fun. Grab this happy colon shaped pillow to hug or punch when your body is acting evil. This plushie colon will bring a smile to your favorite colon cancer patient, colonoscopy, IBS, IBD, Crohn's or colitis warrior. Great colon gift ideas for med students on GI rotations!
What does the colon do? The colon turns food into feces! Also known as the large intestine, this magical tube makes poop. Your colon is colonized by a dynamic microbial ecosystem — bacteria account for 60% of the mass of your fecal solids. Wow!
How do I care for my colon? Here are colon care tips in five easy-to-digest chunks: 1. Drink Water: hydration prevents constipation. 2. Eat Fiber: veggies and grains scrub your innards and keep you regular. 3. Colonoscopy at 50. 4. Don't Strain on the Toilet: Because, hemorrhoids. Relax! 5. Go Easy on the Anus: Use baby wipes. But don't flush 'em!
Your brain has your rectum on speed dial! If you’ve ever felt that urgent need to go to the bathroom, that’s the result of a conversation between your brain and your butt.
Nerves inside the rectum sense the poop’s presence, sending a signal to the brain, asking if it’s ok to send it out of the poop chute. The brain sends a signal back with a thumbs up or thumbs down. Your rectum literally butt-dials your brain. Pretty cool, huh?
More amazing colon facts and nuggets: Your gut and brain have a powerful relationship. You really do sometimes think with your gut. How much of your intestines can you have removed and still live? Fecal transplants are a thing. Your microbiome is so unique that your individual body may not respond to drug treatment the same way your friend or even family member might.
Did you know stomach acid is so powerful it can burn your skin. So why doesn’t stomach acid destroy your sensitive intestines? The pancreas sends along a juice, kinda like baking soda, to neutralize the acid!
We have buttloads more interesting colon facts. Want some more? Leonardo Da Vinci was an idiot: he thought your intestines helped you breathe. Because the intestines are filled with air, and they sit just below the diaphragm, the muscle which helps draw air into the lungs, you can’t blame the guy.
Welp, that's all we have to say about The Exciting Excretory System! Have a great day and treat your colon right with some cleansing, fiber-rich veggies and this beautiful fresh green juice. Sure tastes better than that nasty colonoscopy prep. If you ever have a need for a funny colonoscopy gift or colon surgeon gift, you know whose butthole to look at first.
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