Happy Halloween! On this spirited day of dress-up and candy consumption, we present to you the worst anatomy candy, ranked from least to most disgusting. Enjoy the grossest human body candy ever.
10. Kosher Vampire Teeth Gummies
The idea of chewing on soft teeth gives me the absolute creeps. So glad they're Kosher!
9. Bloody Candy Bones
The blood gives these the nasty touch we are all looking for in gross and yucky human body candy. For extra nightmare material, fill up a human body pinata with these bloody bone candies. You're welcome. They come in a 2 lb. bag.
8. Gummy Internal Organs Candy 38-piece Bag
Now of course we secretly think these gummy organs are just adorable. The chewy texture and on-point color of the kidneys is so realistic that if you use your imagination, these are pretty nasty. If only they were kidney-flavored, they would skyrocket to the top of our gross anatomy candy list!
7. World's Largest Gummy Heart
I didn't know there was a contest for World's Largest Gummy Heart, but apparently this cherry-flavored (again, don't we need the coppery taste of blood?) one is the big winner at one whole pound! My only wish is that it squirted cherry blood. Then this gummy would really put the gross in gross anatomy. A girl can dream, right?
6. Blood Bag
Yes, it's a bag of blood. Doesn't taste like blood. It's cherry flavored. DISAPPOINTING. They need to talk to the Bertie Bott's people about making a blood-flavored Jelly Belly. I mean, they already have the vomit, earwax and booger-flavor Jelly Bellies. And while we are on the topic of those, they definitely get an honorable mention on our gross anatomy candy listlcle. Ok, it gets NSFW and TOO ICKY for kids from this point on, so maybe read this list of gross anatomy candies later?
5. Sperm Shaped Gummies Soft and Chewy
These are pina colada flavored. That is all I'm gonna say. Gross! If this disgusting body candy upsets and offends you, the DO NOT CONTINUE reading. It only gets more disgusting from here. I'm warning you. OK, don't say I didn't warn you...Go on reading IF YOU DARE...Don't say I didn't warn you and don't get all mad at me if you keep reading...STOP READING, ALREADY!!!!
4. Tower of Sour Candy Urine Samples: 4-piece Pack
From the sick geniuses at Candy Warehouse, who seem to have no limits in the nasty candy department, we present: Urine Sample Liquid Candy! "Not for the squeamish," the website says. I'll bet! Another great suggestion: "Tear off the "Sterile" label and toss back a few swigs on your next blind date, or in the middle of an important business meeting." And even better, take it to the next level: "Serve slightly warm (body temperature) for an extra dose of reality!" Awww, this lemon-flavored item is discontinued! I wonder why...? Truly amazing!
3. Eat Poop Chocolate
This one is kinda pricey at $30, but it's still so well-textured and makes such a great message gift, so we are including it here. And everyone loves chocolate. Even when it's a highly realistic pile of human feces. Just close your eyes and take a bite. All it needs is some corn. It's organic!
2. Haribo Mit Ohren Butt Head Candy - With Ears!
It's a gummy butt. With ears. I love this one so much. It's not so much gross anatomy candy as it is just weird anatomy candy. Apparently there is a festival in Germany that includes these Butt Head Candies. I need to go to this festival.
1. Penis Shape Dispenses Liquid Marshmallow Foam - $6.28
The first prize for grossest anatomy candy goes to this liquid marshmallow foam candy, which I'm not going to mention by name or even link to! It comes in Strawberry, Cotton Candy and Cherry flavors -- you get to pick. This candy is part of the bachelorette party industrial complex that has seemingly endless aisles of penis-shaped and penis-themed candy. But I assure you, this one is the worst! I'm very sorry. Now you can't unsee it, can you? But I told ya to stop reading... Wishing you a disgustingly Happy Halloween!