If you’re outraged, you’re not alone. The reversal of Roe v. Wade in the United States has not only ignited the fire of a thousand suns in our loins but also left us with burning questions about what we can do to make things better. If you’re feeling Roe rage right now, here’s a comprehensive guide we’ve drawn up to help you process the latest infuriating Supreme Court ruling that has overturned the constitutional right to abortion.
Punch A Penis
- First off, punch a penis! Okay, fine, maybe you shouldn't go around slapping people’s privates—as satisfying as that might feel in the moment—if you don’t want to risk getting thrown in jail right off the bat, but definitely take advantage of our punchable Penis Neck Pillow for all your aggressive urges. Don’t worry about being gentle. It can take a beating!
Squeeze Some Balls
- Play metaphorical catch with the balls of men who dare to make decisions about your body. Pick up a couple of Testicle Plushies and toss them around with your friends at a pro-choice sleepover. And while you’re at it, play pin the balls on the Supreme Court judges. Oh wait, they don’t have any. Suck our scrotum, SCOTUS!
Take My Womb
- Since men want to take control of our reproductive organs so much, let’s make things easier for them and just give our gonads away. Why put up a fight? Wrap your uterus in a nice little bow, donate it to the men who want to control our bodies, and let them make (and raise) their own babies. Most men remain fertile for much of their lives, so let them go balls to the wall with our wombs.
Bring On The Birth Control
- Speaking of birth control, the Supreme Court has its eye on Griswold v. Connecticut next. Educate others on the importance of reproductive rights and birth control options with our Birth Control t-shirts, stickers, posters, and other cool merch you can don at the next rally to show everyone what you’re fighting for. Men are involved in 100% of unintended pregnancies; perhaps some knowledge of birth control will help with that.
Scream Into Our Uterus
- By this point in the list, you might think you need a break. So treat yourself to a little womb service and grab your Uterus Plush to squeeze while you nap, or you know, scream obscenities into.
- If you or someone you care about needs to get an abortion or needs some professional guidance on their decision, it’s not too late. Visit Abortion Finder to look for trusted clinics in your area that can provide a safe procedure and equip you with accurate information for post-operative care, mental health resources, and anything else you may need to make the experience as positive as possible.
- Now that you've gotten out your Roe Rage, it's time to channel those feelings into action. You can help protect reproductive health and abortion access by donating to Planned Parenthood or a local abortion fund to continue providing the public with the care they need, as well as evidence-based resources to keep them in the know.
To advance the health of women, we have to set ideologies aside. So, unless you’re an OBGYN or other person/thing we approve of entering our vagde—keep your paws and politics out of our uterus!