An Awesome Periodic Table of Your Period – Jezebel
“Quantum mechanics? More like cunt-um mechanics, amirite?! Anatomical plush toy company I Heart Guts has rolled out this pretty great chart outlining the highlights (and lowlights) of menstruation. Based on everyone’s second favorite science room poster (behind Carol of course), the table delineates everything including cravings, birth control, biochemicals, moods, and even the terms of endearment we use to refer to the art of bleeding out our lady lining. I Heart Guts is also responsible for The Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle, another awesome guide that maps out hormonal and physiological patterns throughout the 28-ish days. So whether you’re in a Dalton of pain and just want to be Mendeleft alone, or you feel like a goddamn beautiful gamma ray of sunlight, shining with all your Meit-ner, this fun and educational chart sure won’t be a Bohr. Sorry for the atomic scientist puns, I could not help myself. Also worth noting: The Book of Jezebel — released in October — has its own kickass version of this. Want to see? Step right this way.” By Isha Aran.
An Awesome Periodic Table of Your Period – Jezebel
Our mini megacolon had the chance to meet the real Megacolon at Philadelphia’s Mütter Museum this weekend. They caught up on all things digestive, swapped stories and had a grand old time. We learned a little more about the Megacolon’s former owner, a man who performed as the “human balloon” in Philadelphia’s Dime Museum sideshows until his death at age 29. His colon contained 40 pounds of feces and the specimen is 9 feet long. The Mutter Museum collection belongs to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Philadelphia, and houses an incredible collection of medical history, including specimens, instruments, medical oddities, wax replicas of the human body, gangrenous feet in jars, 70-lb ovarian tumors, conjoined twins (also in a jar) and so on. There’s drawer after drawer devoted to things people have swallowed, skeletons, slices of Einstein’s brain and so much more. If you’re ever close to Philly, it’s a must-see! And don’t forget to visit the fantastic gift shop, where you will find our special exclusive Megacolon plush (makes a conversation-stopping airplane pillow: “What’s that around your neck?” “It’s a happy replica of a diseased colon.”).
We are pleased to introduce our latest celebration of menstrual cycles — The Periodic Table of Your Period. An illustrated guide to all things menses, we have included everything from bloating to chocolate, corpus luteum to period underwear. My geochemist husband came up with the idea and of course I am always dying to draw happy tampons, fallopian tubes and mucous, so I finally got my chance! If you look closely, you’ll find smiling condoms, IUDs and diaphragms in the Birth Control Series, alongside chemical diagrams of progesterone, folic acid and other important substances that course through your veins monthly. The first column is devoted to some of our favorite menstrual slang, a few highlights include “Shark Week,” “Up On Blocks” and of course “Riding the Cotton Pony.” This poster is vaguely NSFW, depending on where you work. There are cute little vaginas, horny uteruses and cock-blocked penises (how else can one illustrate abstinence?), so… maybe not the right thing to share with your kids. Visit our Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle poster for something more educational and kid-friendly. We haven’t gone to press yet, so we are looking for feedback from our OB/Gyn and sex educator friends, comments welcome! Or just download our Periodic Table of Your Period and hang it up in your bathroom.
Don’t miss out on our fantastic T-shirt sale next week, all shirts in our shop are 25% off — what a steal! Even our sale shirts are on sale! Shirts that are normally $24 will be discounted to $18 and our $14 tees will be slashed to $9 bucks! Take advantage of our temporary insanity and stock up on gifts for everyone you know. Why work when you can shop online?
We’ve got four new T-shirts for you to love in the I Heart Guts shop — take a look at our new uterus Ova Achiever tee, Feel Like Makin’ Lung shirt, Flossin’ Ain’t Just For Gangstas tooth tee, and our Family Jewels testicle shirt. Whether you love uteruses, lungs, balls or teeth, any of these super-soft high-quality tees makes a swell gift. Cover your loved ones in guts!
Let us introduce you to the Mega Colon, a special exclusive plush made in collaboration with Philadelphia’s Mutter Museum! If you’ve never heard of the real Mega Colon, it’s a phenomenal specimen housed at the museum — a nine-foot-long diseased colon formerly owned by a very uncomfortable man who performed as the “Human Balloon” as a sideshow attraction. He died from chronic constipation at age 29 with 40 pounds of poop in his intestines. Just a reminder to keep on moving with lots of fiber in your diet. Anyway, the plush mega colon is mega cute and also doubles as an unusual in-flight pillow! Available only through the Mutter Museum shop and online store.
It’s the kind of question that our mothers harass us with. When we voice our answer, doctors stare at us disapprovingly. This is also the reason we avoid dietitians, or outright lie to nurses and grandmothers. When you’re old, you won’t want to move much anyway, right?
What am I talking about?
Calcium! It’s National Osteoporosis Day, so in the spirit I calculated yesterday’s calcium intake: Almost Zero (you know, if you count a piece of cake or 2 miscellaneous eggs). As much as I’d like to ignore this and pretend I get plenty of calcium, I don’t want to have a hunchback at 60 years old. My great aunt is 90 and still travels the world! Talk about inspiring.
So how do you get more calcium? And not just in your diet – how do you make sure it gets into your bones and stays there, after you’re old and prone to falling from natural declines in your sense of balance? I’ll give you a hint: dairy doesn’t make your bones any less frail. So what are good sources of calcium, then? Click the link, or read on: leafy greens (especially kale), nuts (almonds!), seeds, soy, and white beans. See Whole Food’s list for more ideas.
Exercise is also great for strengthening bones, but it needs to be weight-bearing, like these workout ideas (floating in the pool doesn’t count). Try yoga, running, or dancing! Do you have any favorite workouts or calcium-rich recipes?
Plan your next cross-country road trip with our handy new map of the United States of Anatomica. We left out the names of state capitals and other major cities, so why not help us out and come up some of your own? Download a hi-res printable PDF version here.