I know what you're thinking: why are we already talking about holiday shipping?? Halloween isn't even here yet! Have you plush organ people gone mad? Well, yes, we have! Shipping has become so slow over the pandemic, and our guts supplies are so limited that we feel we need to warn you that you best order your holiday goodies NOW or forever give New Year's, or even Valentine's Day 2022, gifts.
USPS just announced that packages are slower than ever -- on PURPOSE. Even the mighty FedEx is no longer guaranteeing delivery dates. You may have noticed lately your Amazon Prime packages don't show up in 1-2 days any more. We are asking that you PLAN AHEAD as much as you can this year. Even though I am personally the Queen of Procrastination, I humbly ask that you not be like me and get your cervixes, your rectums and pancreas socks or whatever EARLY. International packages have been taking as long as 30-90 days to arrive. It's BAD out there, people!
Anyway, if you find yourself crying in a puddle of hot tears on Dec. 23rd, please know you are ME and there is this awesome thing called a digital plush organ gift card that will solve all your problems, tenderly wipe away your tears and wash your dishes AND your period undies, too. No pesky real-life object to worry over AND you make the gift recipient do the hard work of picking out a darn organ. Easy peasy! Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.