It's what you've been waiting for.. Turn that old bag into something useful! Here are our step by step instructions on how to make your own uterus with a secret pocket. Difficulty: Hard (ie, annoying). Step 1 Gather your tools. You'll need a Uterus, seam ripper (that weird fondue utensil lookin' thing), thread (pink or red), scissors, pins, and a 6 inch (or longer) invisible zipper. Step 2 Rip out her side seam! Use this step to get out any rage or irritation from the day. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Be careful not to rip the actual fabric. Step 3 Once the seam is open, you're ready to put in the zipper. Open your invisible zipper. If it is too long, cut the ends so that it is about 5.5 inches long. Next comes the most annoying and laborious task: pin the zipper so that you can sew it without going totally crazy. This is the hardest part. If you want/need to ask an experienced seamstress or tailor to do this for you, go ahead. This site will walk you through how to install the inside zipper. Basically, you want to pin it so that it lays in what was the side seam. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please email me (firstname.lastname@example.org), as it's really hard to explain this via text. Step 4 Once the zipper is in, you'll need to hand sew the seam on both sides of the zipper. Step 5 The finishing step is to insert a pocket. Use any scrap fabric (old pillow case?), sew a semi-circle around it, and hand sew the edges to the inside of the zipper. If you've stuck with me, through my not-so-specific-instructions, you're now ready to stuff your uterus with PMS emergency goods, secret stashes of candy, or anything else you need to keep out of the public eye.